When I was introduced to meth with Mark, I was 27 years old and weighed about 140lbs on my 5’5” frame. I wasn’t happy with my weight but at least I had been losing weight after getting up to 180lbs when I used the birth control shot the previous years. I’ve been vegetarian my whole life but that doesn’t mean I was eating healthy. My weight loss plan consisted of making healthy eating choices and the only exercise I was getting was riding horses. I wasn’t happy with my body but I wasn’t distressed about it either.
Imagine my PLEASANT SURPRISE when the weight started falling off once meth took hold of me! I started going from size to size until I ended up a size 1 and about 104lbs!!! No, I didn’t look good, but man, I FELT GREAT!!! Being able to eat whatever I want and still lose weight – WHAAAAT?!?! Since all of our money was going to meth, we were eating REALLY unhealthy – AND STILL LOSING WEIGHT! I was skin and bones but to me, it felt great. My cloths hung off me, but it felt great! However, it went too far and the lack of nutrition starting affecting my health and mental health to the point I was drinking ENSURE’s to get some sort of nutrition. In all actuality, my health was in really bad shape but this isn’t about my health – it’s about my AMAZING WEIGHT LOSS!
Yeah, right. Not so amazing really because it’s not who I am healthy.
And then you come down.
Especially in the first few days, eating uncontrollably is just part of coming down. However, while using, poor eating habits are established and carry over after quitting. And it is SOON after that my skin begins pressing up against my cloths. I move a size up – which is probably a really good thing.
And then another size.
And now I HATE the way my cloths press against my skin. The mental fight begins – I know ONE SURE WAY of knocking all this weight off. In fact, I am convinced that I could do meth just a little every day to lose the weight. I’m sure I can control the meth and still lose the weight. My self-esteem dives and all I want is meth just to lose weight! IT IS A HORRIBLE HORRIBLE BATTLE. The mental battle is enough to use again.
People and their comments.
If they only understood the battle that rages in my head. “WOW,” they say, “you’ve put on weight!” Of course, most of them don’t know that I’ve just come down from METH and that is why the weight loss, but hearing that is NOT COOL. IT DOES NOT HELP THE BATTLE THAT I AM GOING THROUGH. “Oh, look! Your butt is getting bigger!” THAT DOES NOT MAKE ME FEEL GOOD. THIS DOES NOT HELP ME WANT TO STAY SOBER!!! Telling me that my weight looks good does not help my self-esteem. MY WEIGHT DOES NOT FEEL GOOD, GET IT?? And I know for a FACT that I’m not the only ex-addict that feels this way. In fact, every addict I KNOW feels exactly the same way.
PLEASE, DON’T SAY IT. EVER.
If you know that someone has come down from meth, PLEASE, DO THEM A HUGE FAVOR AND NEVER TELL THEM THAT THE WEIGHT LOOKS GOOD. In fact, do them a HUGE FAVOR and don’t comment on their weight AT ALL! Leave the subject alone. Saying general and GENUINE comments like “Wow, you are looking really good… or beautiful…,” is VERY appreciated without doing any additional damage. Do you want to inflict additional damage? Do you want to make it worse for the addict?
I did a little research on this subject before writing. I found this informative website about meth and weight and thought I would share. I hope it sheds more light on the subject.
In my upcoming prescription to “coming down and joining normal life”, I will address how important starting healthy habits as soon possible will DEFINETLY INCREASE a positive outcome getting addict back on his or her feet and back to enjoying normal life. Watch for it and come back soon!