When You Realize You Can’t Quit.

When You Realize You Can’t Quit.

“You wake up one day and look back at everyday use and realize you can’t stop.” That was a scary day. The feeling of desperation turned my empty stomach into knots. I thought for sure I was in control. I could stop if I WANTED to. Nope. That’s not the way this drug works. I […]

Throwing Rocks at 2am.

Throwing Rocks at 2am.

This is a new tag for me; ‘things I did while tweaking’. The purpose of this tag is continue my plight to bare all, make the tweaker smile at the odd things they have done while tweaking, and help some families/friends with throwing up a red flag if they witness some odd behavior. Because, honestly, […]

Feeling My Body Shutting Down.

Feeling My Body Shutting Down.

“I stepped out of bed after not sleeping all night, to get up and go to work, my face sunk in and heavy, my heart hurting, tired, dazed, gotta do another line…get to work, go hide in the bathroom to do another line, gotta rush home to do more dope, not eating, not drinking, no […]

The Meth in My Story.

The Meth in My Story.

What brings someone to have meth arrive in their story? I’m sure there are a million stories and reasons how meth wound itself in someone’s story; it was already in the family, parents used, high-school friends pushed, boyfriend/girlfriend  introduced, etc. Some reasons are because someone wanted to be ‘cool,’ curious, bored, because everyone else is […]

Picking.. Picking.. Picking..

Picking.. Picking.. Picking..

Confession time – and thought I would give you the opportunity to either relate or shake your head at me in wonder. As you know, a tweaker will ‘pick’; either at themselves or on someone else. If you were already a ‘picker,’ tweaking just makes the habit ten-times worse. Anyone who knows a tweaker knows […]

Losing my Favorite Job.

Losing my Favorite Job.

Have you had a favorite job? What makes a job GREAT to you? I mean, deep down, a lot of times we hate getting up and going to work, but maybe you’ve had that one job that makes it easy and exciting to get up and get ready to work? A job that is fun, […]

Scared to Drive.

Scared to Drive.

What scared me the most when I was on meth? DRIVING! What do you think of that, or can you relate? I know it was the same for Jack too. When you have to sit that long without any sleep, your body wants to CRASH no matter how much meth you do. Honestly, driving scared […]

A New Use for Aluminum Foil.

A New Use for Aluminum Foil.

How did you first do meth? Pipe? Line? Some other way I don’t know about? Don’t remember? Well, I remember my first time like it was yesterday and I share it with you to see if you can relate, and to educate those who don’t know. When I remember, I shudder… what on earth did […]