Meth to Marijuana: Why and Why Not it’s a Good Idea and One of My Most Humiliating Moments

Marijuana is considered a gateway drug while on the other hand many people don’t even consider marijuana a drug. With the recent laws passed to legalize marijuana, it seems soon that it will be as mainstream as drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes.  Of course, compared to meth, marijuana is definitely the ‘peaceful and eating’ drug vs meth that is characterized by ‘craziness and no eating.’ I’ll share my experience trading addictions that includes one of my most humiliating experiences, why marijuana is a ‘good’ idea after meth, and why’s it’s not a good idea.

Marijuana was my first drug (a joint in the car with Mark – of course) that was my gateway to meth, and I really enjoyed pot. However, meth was a rush like no other feeling and crazy addicting so it took over quick. However, I never understood – though fully participated – in smoking pot and smoking meth at the same time. As I would be doing it, I would be confused – are we going up or coming down? Are we going fast just to go slow? Didn’t it seem that one was being totally wasted? Alas, pass me the joint after I put down the pipe. Good grief. Have you ever been there?

However, marijuana was a huge part of my ‘coming-down’ when I quit the first time – well, come to think of it, the second time too. Let me explain. When I would surface while sleeping it off on my dad’s floor, he would hand me a joint and said that it would help and it did. I would be so stoned I would go right back into a painless sleep. In fact, after I started moving around again, there was hardly a moment that I wasn’t stoned and yeah, it helped! It helped with depression, it encouraged me to eat everything in sight, it kept me relaxed, helped me to sleep really well, gave me a new community of fun friends, and helped with my overall mood. Sadly, most importantly, it helped me not miss meth. It was a big deal for me to stay stoned during that tough time.

But then it was time to get a job (read losing my favorite job to know why I was job hunting). I was starting to ‘control’ my pot smoking to the evenings or just when someone asked me to smoke with them (versus wake-and-bake) and I’m sad to say I did go to a couple of interviews totally stoned (no wonder I didn’t get the job). I did go to an interview for a secretarial position not stoned and got the job! I was relieved but then totally freaked out because I had been smoking and they wanted me to go the next morning for a drug test and then start my first day. Oh no! I went home and shared with the guy I was seeing my major predicament and he had a solution. He told me that we needed to find someone who didn’t smoke, get them to pee for me, keep the pee and warm it up before going in for the test, and use that pee for the test. I had never done a drug test before and I had never used fake pee or anyone’s pee so this was totally new territory to me so I relied on his instructions to get me through. And then we smoked pot all night together. Why not, right?

(So, in case you hadn’t realized it yet, this is leading up to one of my most humiliating moments).

There was this man who also lived with my dad who was a good friend and didn’t smoke. I got the courage to ask him to pee for me (in case you didn’t know, you have to use the same –sex pee to bust a test so I’m starting off failing). He found the whole thing amusing (along with my dad and everyone else I was hanging out with) and the next morning, he peed into a little contact-juice bottle for me. I was grossed out but ready to make it work. My test was scheduled for 8am so I was in a hurry. I needed to warm it up in a microwave so I made a quick stop at my grandmother’s house on my way into town. She was still sleeping so I had the kitchen to myself to get the pee warmed. Well, smart me didn’t take the cap off so when I opened the microwave, the pee EXPLODED all over me (all dressed up cute for my first day of work) and the kitchen.

Yeah. On my face.

I was done. I was COVERED in old-man pee: there was no going to the drug test, there was no going to my first day of work, and there was nothing else to do except to go back to my dad’s house, take a shower, and cry. I quietly cleaned up the kitchen and left to my dad’s. On the way, I called my new job and left a message for my new boss saying, ‘thanks for the job but I’m not able to take it at this time,’ and headed for the shower. I passed up my dad and the guy I was seeing as they were going to work and they looked super confused seeing me return home. I was humiliated and turned my phone off. I couldn’t even fake a drug test.

That afternoon, I finally got myself together and decided to go to my bar and drink my woes away (always a great idea, right? NOT), and turned my phone back on. There was a message from my old ‘new boss’ telling me to call him. I had a shot and then stepped outside to make the call. To my dismay, he answered and wanted to know why I didn’t want the job. I had nothing to lose except be honest so I told him all about the old man pee explosion, that I had been smoking pot like I had nothing to do, and I couldn’t pass or even fake a drug test. I needed to clean up and then look for a job. He cracked up laughing and said he really wanted me to work for him and to go in on Monday, take a drug test no matter if I could pass it or not, and be to work by 9am. I was so ecstatic I smoked my brains out all weekend!

I trotted into the drug testing place at 8am happy to supply my own pee and then went off for my first day at my new job. However, a few days later, my boss called me in and said that the drug testing place hadn’t seen numbers that high on anyone and that for me to remain employed I needed to give him a CLEAN drug test in thirty days. Sheepishly, I complied and was grateful for the second chance. Thirty-days later, I gave a clean drug test with my own pee and kept my job. Of course, I started smoking again after the test because it was still helping me stay clean from meth and I was addicted. I had traded addictions.

For the record, I just quit smoking pot two years ago versus the nine years of being clean from meth.

Yeah, pot can definitely help with the side effects of coming down like I mentioned previously: it helps with depression, it encourages to eat, it kept me relaxed instead of dealing with anxiety, helps with sleeping, can a provide a new community of fun friends, and helps with overall mood. Sadly, most importantly, it helps replace meth and the feeling lost without meth. All of these points are real concerns and issues when coming-down from meth and any relief is appreciated.

HOWEVER, it is trading addictions and it holds you back from achieving your most potential. Marijuana is its own chain and though it has its benefits, it does have its drawbacks: it makes you lazy, dulls your decision making capabilities makes you unmotivated, and if you need to pass a drug test for employment, it can mess up opportunities. Yeah, you still might be able to get the job you want and start living a life that you are ‘satisfied’ with after your life after meth addiction with trading it with marijuana but if you want to reach your full potential, I sincerely believe that you have  break that chain with marijuana as well. Personally, I don’t like quitting drugs because it’s the pits so by not trading drugs, it’s one less habit to break.

I hope you can erase the image of me covered in old-man pee from your head and stay with me through the rest of my blogging-journey, but most importantly, I hope it gives you something to chew on. I’m sharing my meth experience with you to encourage you to reach past normal and embrace your full potential. The biggest finger you could give meth addiction is living your fullest, healthiest, and most satisfying life – free of any chains, embracing unlimited possibilities, and dreaming new dreams.

I know that God wants the most of your life and He wants to help you achieve you fullest. He wants to communicate with you and the only way He can is if your mind is clear to hear His voice. He can save you from addiction and give you the strength to overcome. You don’t have to do it alone when the God who loves you WANTS to save you. Choose His help and break addiction.

Till next time, peace.

PS – I shared my humiliating experience, why don’t you share yours? I dare you!

About Carlee Walker

My name is Carlee and I'm a meth addict. I've been clean for nine years and celebrating normal life. Yes, a meth addict can have a normal life and the addiction can be like a scar on the knee. AND you don't have to face your addiction alone! Jesus has already promised to help us if we just call on Him - and my life is now fulfilling thanks to Him. Come, journey with me. Share with me. Grow with me. Together, we can celebrate normal life.