When the Police Asked If Everything Was All Right And The Lies I Told.

Domestic incidents when meth is involved are very high and it is no wonder that police generally look at meth addicts as dirt for the crazy drama they cause. In fact, I am sure a seasoned police officer can detect meth drama from a mile away. Those are delicate situations full of anger, violence, extreme emotions, and pain. Oh, and lies; a BUNCH of lies.

I lied. I’ve even lied to the police.

It was a typical meth fight on the way to work one morning that got us in a screaming rage. I’m not sure I’ve even been that angry and out of control. Honestly, I can’t even think of what we were fighting about or even about any of the other details of that morning except this fight was way out of control. Mark was driving and I was a passenger desperate to get away from him and out of that car. I was wild with anger, fright, and desperation – great emotions to have going into a stressful work situation.

This morning I was dropping Mark off and taking the car to my work at the next hangar down the road.

After making a sharp U-turn to get me pointed back out toward the street, he slammed on the breaks. Rage filled me like never before and I ripped the seatbelt off, madly grabbed for the door handle and with all my strength (and meth addicts have super-human strength – just ask a cop) used my arms AND my leg to shove the door open. Well, with my super-strength I kick the door open so hard I bent the body of the car between the door and the front wheel. There was a LOUD crunch of metal followed by screaming as we both jumped out of the car in mad rage. After slamming the passenger door with a loud bang and the sound of crunching metal, I went to take off running. The insane rage that flooded my body just told me to run! I had to get away from him. I was shocked how quick he caught me in his arms and spun me around screaming and kicking back toward the car.

Yeah, tweaker fighting.

He was screaming at me to get back in the car and was trying to shove me kicking and screaming back into the passenger side with the sound of metal crunching.

Someone called 9-1-1 and made a report because all of a sudden, two police cars came flying into the parking lot blocking us in. We both stopped and looked at each other with shock and horror; here we were in front of Mark’s work, screaming, I was crying, trying to run away, both acting complete insane, drugs and paraphernalia, and here were the police. He growled at me that if he lost his job over this, he was going to hate me forever. We both stood up quickly and faced the police as they came toward the car.

We answered that everything was okay….. Oh, just a minor disagreement. Come on, the cops had to have been suspicious. One lady cop asked me to take a walk with her to ask me a few questions. She reported that someone had called after seeing Mark grab me to put me back in the car. She did look concerned as she asked me if I was being abused and if I needed to get away. NOPE. EVERYTHING IS JUST FINE! Am I sure that I didn’t need help? NOPE. EVERYTHING IS FINE! Are drugs involved? NOPE. EVERYTHING IS JUST FINE!

Lie after lie after lie.

She looked at me with the saddest eyes and we walked back to the other officers and Mark talking at the car. They were looking at the damage I made to the car from kicking the door open and they all looked at me like I was crazy. Well, I was. The police told us to calm it down and have a nice day. Mark glared at me and told me he would be seeing me at lunch. I had the weight of a million stones hanging from my neck as I got back into the car and sobbed on my short drive to work.

I was so exhausted from the fighting that I remember I had to call Mark half way through the morning to bring me some dope for a bump. Meth was the only thing that could make life bearable and make it so I could function. He left me desperate until lunch – my punishment for my actions earlier that day.

What if I hadn’t lied that day? As I type this remembering clearly the insanity of that morning, I wonder how things would have been if I had admitted that I was on meth, that he was on meth, and we needed help. What would have happened? What would have the police done at that point? How much would it have changed our story?

Here I am today with this ugly day just a file in my memory bank. I sit here waiting for my youngest son to wake from his nap and his older brother to walk through the door from school. God rescued me from meth because He had a plan for me. He never wanted me to go through that turmoil but He is using that my turmoil now to make me bind myself to my Savior. He has blessed me with a peaceful home, loyal family, beautiful sons, and a deep desire to help the meth addict out there who wants desperately to quit lying and break away from the meth chain. Is it you? Is it someone you love? Are you ready for a beautiful life?

“Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God: and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and minds through Christ Jesus. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:4-7, 13.

Till next time, peace.

About Carlee Walker

My name is Carlee and I'm a meth addict. I've been clean for nine years and celebrating normal life. Yes, a meth addict can have a normal life and the addiction can be like a scar on the knee. AND you don't have to face your addiction alone! Jesus has already promised to help us if we just call on Him - and my life is now fulfilling thanks to Him. Come, journey with me. Share with me. Grow with me. Together, we can celebrate normal life.