“I’ve been living on the edge of not knowing of my housing status for the last 2 months but I can finally relax for at least the next 6.”
This statement conveys a small ray of hope for someone who is using still or trying to quit and get their life back on track. Meth not only takes a person down physically, it ruins every other aspect of their life to the point of ripping away basic necessities. How does someone get to this point and how can someone help this person without enabling them? Is this statement you? Are you to the point in your addiction or recovery that obtaining the basic needs is a hunt?
In my experience with both Mark and Jake, the mortgage and rent was always just barely paid. With Mark and the house that we owned, we were about two months behind in our mortgage when we split up and he was fighting to keep the house. God was looking out for me when Mark convinced me before we divorced to have my name taken off the house; looking back he was trying to make it so I couldn’t take half from him and I was basically screwed out of everything that was mine in the divorce, however, I know God’s hand was in that because it was only about a year later that Mark lost the house in foreclosure and that would have been on my credit. By signing off on the house it removed me from the mess that was going to happen. Praise God!
With Jack, we were renting a duplex and things were very quickly getting out of control with our finances while maintaining our drug usage. We were even borrowing money from his parents to help with rent a couple of times so when I was presented with an opportunity to move to a barn/loft situation where we could work to help with rent, we jumped on it and moved. We had both quit meth about a month prior and so it was a real opportunity to get our finances back on track, move from the house that we had been using at, and give us a new start. It was way out in the middle of no-where, provided physical activity (really important to coming down and feeling better), and no one else knew where we were so it protected us from temptation of using again.
For others, losing everything including whatever living situation they are in is part of coming down. Personal loans, utility bills, insurance, DMV dues, and car payments are usually first to go down and while trying to get back some of these important living expenses, money is used from the rent/mortgage payment with the full intention of catching up with the next check. The stress is immense and when you are using, the only way to deal with it is to be high – which costs money.
If you have an addict in the family and they asking for help for these bills, it will be heartbreaking to say ‘no’. It’s up to you but by paying the phone bill, you will be enabling them. It will be hard; it could turn into a crazy and violent situation by saying ‘no,’ so be careful! If you start questioning them about their finances, BE CAREFUL! This is already a high-stress situation for the addict and questioning can very quickly lead to crazy behavior. Know that if you loan them the money, you will more than likely never get it back (at least as long as they are on meth). Personal loans are the first to be forgotten.
If your addict is asking to move in with you, please think about this very carefully. You’ll need to have something in writing that includes a no-drug policy and that it allows you to manage their finances while they are under your roof – it’s only fair and you need it to protect yourself. Even if you aren’t positive or not whether there are drugs involved but you see their life falling apart, keep in mind that being safe is better than being sorry. If they are truly desperate for a place to live, they should be willing to sign and agree to the rules of your house.
If you are the person desperate for a living situation and have burned all the bridges with your family and friends, there are half-way houses and resources that will help you but they will all come with parameters that you must be clean. It’s all for your own good and you need to see it as support and opportunity to get away from that devil drug.
I want to leave you with encouragement from the Bible – a source of truth and comfort for me and available to you. Philippians 4:19 is especially encouraging when you are lacking your basic needs. “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” When you feel that you can’t do any more about your situation, Philippians 4:13 promises “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
Friend, quitting meth is one of the hardest things to do because you think you can live life and still use meth but as you might be finding, meth starts taking you apart piece by piece. You can have peace and security again if you just let go of the chain. Find a path to quitting that is right for you! Get a plan and together we can start thinking of the logistics to coming down and regain your life and health without losing any more. Instead of being secure for the next six months, let’s think about six years. YOU CAN DO THIS.