“I Have NO Idea What “Normal” Is or What I Am Supposed to do in My Day to Day Life Outside of the Drug Life Style.”

“I Have NO Idea What “Normal” Is or What I Am Supposed to do in My Day to Day Life Outside of the Drug Life Style.”

When your life is chained in drugs, it is impossible to imagine life without it. When life consists of getting from one hit to the next, hanging out with like-minded people, staying up ‘chillin’ all night doing tweaker things, and either isolating yourself or be involved with constant major drama, paying bills, eating dinner, and driving to work seems […]

Dealing with Meth Dreams and Cravings: We All Have Them But It Doesn’t Mean Backsliding.

Dealing with Meth Dreams and Cravings: We All Have Them But It Doesn’t Mean Backsliding.

“I’ve been clean 9 months and still get cravings. They are especially bad after dreams of using.” I already am a vivid dreamer and when I was younger, I use to sleep-walk a lot. My nighttime activity was sometimes more active than I would be during the wake hours! I can remember some dreams that […]

Meth to Marijuana: Why and Why Not it’s a Good Idea and One of My Most Humiliating Moments

Meth to Marijuana: Why and Why Not it’s a Good Idea and One of My Most Humiliating Moments

Marijuana is considered a gateway drug while on the other hand many people don’t even consider marijuana a drug. With the recent laws passed to legalize marijuana, it seems soon that it will be as mainstream as drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes.  Of course, compared to meth, marijuana is definitely the ‘peaceful and eating’ drug […]

Been Clean For a Week and It’s Just Not Worth It”

Been Clean For a Week and It’s Just Not Worth It”

“Been clean for a week and my body is still feeling the aftershock. It’s just not worth it” If you’ve quit or ran out of meth, you KNOW this feeling. This is what meth does. This is the hold that meth has. ‘Aftershock’ is a great descriptive word to depict just how bad you feel […]

A Roof for Six Months

A Roof for Six Months

“I’ve been living on the edge of not knowing of my housing status for the last 2 months but I can finally relax for at least the next 6.” This statement conveys a small ray of hope for someone who is using still or trying to quit and get their life back on track. Meth […]

When You Realize You Can’t Quit.

When You Realize You Can’t Quit.

“You wake up one day and look back at everyday use and realize you can’t stop.” That was a scary day. The feeling of desperation turned my empty stomach into knots. I thought for sure I was in control. I could stop if I WANTED to. Nope. That’s not the way this drug works. I […]

When the Police Asked If Everything Was All Right And The Lies I Told.

When the Police Asked If Everything Was All Right And The Lies I Told.

Domestic incidents when meth is involved are very high and it is no wonder that police generally look at meth addicts as dirt for the crazy drama they cause. In fact, I am sure a seasoned police officer can detect meth drama from a mile away. Those are delicate situations full of anger, violence, extreme […]

Meth Plus Accidents Equal Stupid

Meth Plus Accidents Equal Stupid

Accidents happen but when accidents happen and you’re tweaking, it can get serious fast. When you’re not thinking when you should be, you end up paying for it in the end. I’m lucky that it’s only a sore back. It was a cold, January day, and I was out in our arena with the horses. […]

Dilemmas of Coming Down

Dilemmas of Coming Down

“The option of rehab is still available, and I guess I’ll still think about it but there are a couple problems… So if I go, I have to come home to my boyfriend using and force myself to not use, and my son doesn’t know I ever started it again.” Dilemmas of coming down When […]

ISOLATED

ISOLATED

“I have isolated myself from family and friends. I rather be alone and struggle than for anyone to find out I have a problem.” Do you feel like this? It is one thing being isolated from family and friends because of location and circumstances but it’s a whole other situation where you isolate YOURSELF from […]