Do I wish I had never done meth? Do I regret it?

Do I wish I had never done meth? Do I regret it?

Well, yes (of course) and no. I miss my teeth. I don’t miss the fighting. I miss the comradery and the fun party times. I don’t miss coming down. I could go on but that’s not the real question. Having done meth and having that chapter of experience in my life (and that’s exactly what […]

December, 2007. My last month of being an addict.

December, 2007. My last month of being an addict.

It’s December 2015 and it’s a good time to reflect on that last month I did meth because it was an impactful month, and at the time during that month eight years ago, I didn’t even know how much my life was about to change. I could see that my relationship with my current husband, […]

THANKSGIVING 2015

THANKSGIVING 2015

THANKSGIVING – the good and the bad. I love Thanksgiving  – but I’ve had good ones and I’ve had bad ones. The two Thanksgivings that I had with Mark, my ex-husband, I remember being so high that I couldn’t eat. There is a since of excitement around that just made getting too high to function […]

Do I think about meth every day now?

Do I think about meth every day now?

No, not anymore. Normal life is BUSY. I’m busier now than doing nothing tweaking. Granted, when you’re tweaking you feel like you are getting tons done but really you’re not. It comes up now and then in my mind, and honestly, I’ll find myself pine for it like a long, lost friend for a moment […]

I was a pastor’s wife. How did I get addicted to meth?

I was a pastor’s wife. How did I get addicted to meth?

Well, being totally naïve and weak, honestly. Of course, I didn’t see myself as naïve and weak at the time, on the contrary, I was with someone who was excited and that I trusted. What? Ok. Let me tell you, because I believe there are a couple of lessons here. I was raised Seventh-Day Adventist. […]

Life after meth.

Life after meth.

You really need to think about this as a journey – an open road. Life is a highway consisting of work, relationships, and responsibilities. Everyone around you is on the same highway. You took an exit when you allowed meth in your life, and granted, it seemed like a really fun and exciting detour. But […]

Trigger Dream

Trigger Dream

My husband, Jack is sometimes a restless sleeper. And I’m a please-don’t-bother-me-I-am-in-desperate-need-of-sleep sleeper. Being mom and having baby sleeping in the room with us, my ears are always on when I wish they were off. And when I get woke up needlessly, I get cranky. I try really hard not to because it’s caused arguments […]

About Me

About Me

Hi. I’m Carlee, and I’m a meth addict. I’ve been living the normal life for eight nine years. What is normal life? Normal life includes marriage, paying bills, active church life, children, bachelor’s degree, car insurance, friends, family, and sleeping eight hours a night (now that the baby is sleeping through the night). But I […]