METH AND WEIGHT. WHAT NOT TO SAY – EVER.

METH AND WEIGHT. WHAT NOT TO SAY – EVER.

When I was introduced to meth with Mark, I was 27 years old and weighed about 140lbs on my 5’5” frame. I wasn’t happy with my weight but at least I had been losing weight after getting up to 180lbs when I used the birth control shot the previous years. I’ve been vegetarian my whole […]

The End – No Wait, the Beginning.

The End – No Wait, the Beginning.

(If you haven’t read “December, 2007. My Last Month Being an Addict” you probably should or this might not make any since). It’s New Year’s Eve, 2007. Jack and I have been on a huge runner preparing to finally quit (that’s sensible thinking, right?) and this was the last night – MY LAST NIGHT OF […]

The Thrill of Not Getting Caught

The Thrill of Not Getting Caught

I think everyone deep down gets a thrill out of ‘not being caught.’ This could include a whole range of behaviors – stealing, cheating, addictive issues, drinking to name a few. What’s yours?? Obviously its pressure from others that fuels the thrill (police or victim – whoever it is that you are hiding your behavior […]

My Last December with Mark  – PART 2 – My first week clean.

My Last December with Mark – PART 2 – My first week clean.

I slept the whole way to my dad’s house which took about three times longer because of the snowy conditions – but it didn’t matter to me. I was gone. The heater in the van finally had me warm from head to toe. I remember feeling the hard bumps in the driveways and I knew […]

My last December with Mark… the first quit.

My last December with Mark… the first quit.

My last December with Mark is foggy in my head. We were fighting so much it was starting to get really crazy; in fact, it was easier to count the days out of the week that we didn’t fight. We fought about everything; the power getting turned off, bills not being paid but we still […]

Do I wish I had never done meth? Do I regret it?

Do I wish I had never done meth? Do I regret it?

Well, yes (of course) and no. I miss my teeth. I don’t miss the fighting. I miss the comradery and the fun party times. I don’t miss coming down. I could go on but that’s not the real question. Having done meth and having that chapter of experience in my life (and that’s exactly what […]

December, 2007. My last month of being an addict.

December, 2007. My last month of being an addict.

It’s December 2015 and it’s a good time to reflect on that last month I did meth because it was an impactful month, and at the time during that month eight years ago, I didn’t even know how much my life was about to change. I could see that my relationship with my current husband, […]

THANKSGIVING 2015

THANKSGIVING 2015

THANKSGIVING – the good and the bad. I love Thanksgiving  – but I’ve had good ones and I’ve had bad ones. The two Thanksgivings that I had with Mark, my ex-husband, I remember being so high that I couldn’t eat. There is a since of excitement around that just made getting too high to function […]