I think everyone deep down gets a thrill out of ‘not being caught.’ This could include a whole range of behaviors – stealing, cheating, addictive issues, drinking to name a few. What’s yours?? Obviously its pressure from others that fuels the thrill (police or victim – whoever it is that you are hiding your behavior from). Who do you hide your issue from? Why do they want to stop you?
Good grief, why am I talking about this? I had an interesting conversation with my dad on Friday, and if you’ve read some of my previous blogs, you know that he is the one who brought me down the first time. Anyways, the subject of my ex-sister in law came up (a whole story I have yet to share with you) but in the short, my brother and her just split up again and I guess she has gone back to her meth dealer boyfriend (she has been supposedly been clean for about two years though there have been suspicious signs). Dad and I reflected on the strangle hold that meth takes on a person; it makes a strong person totally weak. We talked about how hard it really is to successfully quit – what really makes you quit. It is so easy to go back to either for a ‘reason’ or for no reason. And then there is the thrill of not getting caught.
If your addict isn’t truly committed to being clean (they might want to be clean but don’t have a reason for themselves to be clean) this can come into play. Example: a husband has been given a last chance; if he is caught, he will lose his family – everything. It’s a lot to lose. So much that you would think that it would be enough to make sure that he would never use again. No, not necessarily. It would be enough to make sure that he would make sure that he would never get CAUGHT. And if circumstances come up right – been sober for a while (no recent suspicion), offered a small amount for free (no evidence in the bank account), know the tricks of hiding the evidence from back when running hard, and only do enough that you get a small high but not enough to be obvious (or so you think). But what gets you higher is the thrill of not getting caught.
If you’re that addict, and pleased with yourself for not getting caught, guess what? It’s only you that you are harming. It’s a step backwards for you. And it opens the door for you to try it again, and guess what? You just might get caught again and then lose everything. Its meth. Most users have to hit rock bottom before finally quitting for good – and the thrill of not getting caught is what is going to get you caught.
If you have an addict in your life, you might be the person that is the pressure for not getting caught. I am. I am that person in my relationship with my husband. I have a different issue that can get me into trouble if I play with ‘not getting caught’ (yeah, I might tell you about that someday) but it’s not meth, I guarantee you that. If you are that person, well, there isn’t much you can do about the person seeking the thrill of not getting caught except that when you catch them, you better follow through with whatever you said you were going to do if they were caught. No more chances. It will be time to practice that tough love. I’ll be talking about tough love another time.
Talk to me. Let me know what your thrill is, if you want. If you are an addict, talk to me about getting caught. Do you care if you get caught? If you have an addict in your life and you are losing sleep and life trying to catch your addict, talk about it. Let’s see where this take’s us.