‘Why Do I See You as a Companion?’

“Why do I see you as a companion, a treat, a source of warmth, peace, serenity, focus, purpose, when the reality for each of those words you are in fact the opposite…”

Yes, meth, in fact you are the opposite of all of those words. A lot of people don’t understand that this is exactly how meth makes you feel – and when this is the only thing that makes you feel this way, you DO NOT want to quit! This is an actual quote I found while doing research for my bog and when I read it, my heart hurt. I want to talk about the relationship felt with meth, why quitting meth emotionally is like breaking up with someone, how this impacts quitting, and assure whoever is using that this IS INDEED THE OPPOSITE of what meth is.

Maybe you’re reading this and you’ve never experienced meth – wondering how a DRUG can make you feel these emotions. Let me try to help you understand the relationship with meth. It’s not a person though all these emotions are usually felt in a relationship. I’ll tell you because meth IS a relationship! You want to do EVERYTHING with meth – isn’t that how you feel in a new relationship?! When you are in a relationship (whether it is all wrong or not) you strive to feel warmth, peace, serenity, focus, purpose. You seek companionship! Meth makes you feel like you are in the perfect relationship. And just like any relationship, it has its ups-and-downs! You don’t always get along with each other and one makes the other crazy and you handle it emotionally just the way you would a relationship – forgive and forget (and smoke another bowl). You get mad at what it does to your life, but you come crawling back. Let me make this clear that it’s like a totally unhealthy relationship.

I posted a quote that I wrote about quitting meth- it’s like breaking up with someone. You might be sitting there shaking your head how quitting meth is like breaking up with someone but maybe now that you understand a little more how meth is more like a relationship, you can see how easy it is to compare it breaking up. Have you been in an unhealthy relationship? Have you been stuck with someone who is tearing your life up but makes you feel so good at the same time? I assure you, everyone who does meth at some point realizes that it’s the meth that is destroying their life and it makes them say ‘after I finish this last bag, that’s it! I’m done! I’m quitting.’ But when you are starting to feel really horrible coming down and meth gives you that sweet call asking you to get back together, it’s REALLY HARD to stay true and to say ‘no’. Again, let me make this clear that it’s like a totally unhealthy relationship, but it IS a relationship.

So, wow, how does this impact quitting? WELL, it makes it SUPER HARD! When you are dealing with emotions as well as physical cravings, it’s a double whammy! Because of this, dealing with the emotional loss that will go a long with quitting meth needs to be addressed in the recovery process. Pretend it’s like helping a friend who just broke up with the love of their life – they feel lost, cold, depressed, lonely, unfocused, anxious, and no sense of purpose. How would you help them? What would you say? What activities would help them to focus on? HONESTLY, (and people do this, right?) does it really help to take them out partying and get them drunk? We both know that more times than not that ends in a complete melt down and a disaster. AND how many times does it happen that after you drop off your ‘drunk friend’ that after you leave, they call crying to their lost-love. Or in this case, call the dealer. So no, drinking is not the answer. If you really want to help someone break-up with meth, don’t try to distract them by taking them out and partying.

Friend, if this describes the way you feel about meth – the companionship, warmth, peace, serenity, focus, purpose – nothing is farther from the truth. This is the chain that meth has wrapped around you. It is an unhealthy, life-destroying, lying relationship. And please remember, you are having those emotions over DRUG! Just think, once you re-join normal life, you can have these feeling FIRST about yourself with your relationship with God! You don’t need anyone to make you feel these amazing emotions – just realizing that you are a child of God’s, He LOVES you, and He gives you all these emotions, you can replace this unhealthy relationship with meth into a new wonderful, beautiful life without meth. And the best part of that is that it is HEALTHY, LIFE BUILDING, AND A TRUE RELATIONSHIP.

The perfect text I leave with you is found in 2 Corinthians 13:11, ‘….. Become complete. Be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.’

Till next time,

Peace, friends.

Update – I’m still working on getting through the technical difficulties setting up my recovery plans and Face-To-Face time. Please keep checking back and sign up for updates!




About Carlee Walker

My name is Carlee and I'm a meth addict. I've been clean for nine years and celebrating normal life. Yes, a meth addict can have a normal life and the addiction can be like a scar on the knee. AND you don't have to face your addiction alone! Jesus has already promised to help us if we just call on Him - and my life is now fulfilling thanks to Him. Come, journey with me. Share with me. Grow with me. Together, we can celebrate normal life.